6 months

IT HAS BEEN A VERY LONG TIME.
And I have no good excuse. I always think... "Oh tomorrow I will update" or "Oh I have nothing good to say..." or "Oh I want to wait till I have that one picture..." And BAM it has been a few good months now.

Life has sure changed a lot for us lately. We moved out of Utah. We are in a whole new city with new people and its very different.
I miss my friends, I miss my old apartment, I miss Provo. But I am excited to see where life will lead us.

Adelaide is 6 1/2 months old now. She is pretty big too. She is 22 pounds as of the other day when I weighed her on our bathroom scale (so take that for as accurate as a bathroom scale can be only).
She loves to babble. Her favorite (and practically only) thing she likes to say is Dada.
She can sit up like a champ. I have newly discovered that If I place a box of toys in front of her it can keep her occupied for ten minutes. She will knock it over and place each toy in her mouth and then throw it away from her. She loves to put EVERYTHING in her mouth. Hair, her clothes, my clothes, my nose..., her food, my food, your food. She will lunge out of your arms toward any type of food that you may be trying to eat. She thinks she can have everything.
If Eric is holding Addie and he tries to kiss me, Addie will, without failure, grap at my face and try to kiss (or eat) my face too. It is pretty cute.
She really is such a sweet little girl.
She loves music. She loves to sit on Courtney's lap and while she plays the piano. And she has figured out how to close the piano. So while Courtney plays Addie will reach up and bring the cover to the keys down. Its good that it closes slowly so that fingers don't get crushed.
Addie has the best laugh ever! She likes when give her tummy rasberries. She likes to get baths. She likes to have you dance wildly around her. She likes if you smile and act crazy. And she loves if you sing.

I feel so blessed to have this sweet little one in my life.

Time sure flys when you are constantly changing diapers

I keep putting off updating my blog becuase I have all these pictures I need to upload and I haven't. That is a horrible reason I know. SO here is a blog post. I apologize for my long absence.

Well Ladies and Gentlemen I have been a mother now officially for three months. So obviously I now know everything that there is about being a mom and I am secretly superwoman.
Yeah, so that is not true at all. I think I realize more and more everyday how much I don't know. But I am so grateful for friends and family who help me along this wonderful learning experience. I have been truly blessed with amazing support. Thank you to all of those who help me and teach me. You probably don't even know who you are... but I notice all of you. Thank you a million times.

There are a few things I have come to realize these past three months and I would like to share these wonderful thoughts with you now.

First off I realized that food tastes SO much better now that I am no longer pregnant. Maybe it is that my nose is no longer the "super sniffer" or maybe its that breastfeeding makes me so hungry that an eggplant covered in chocolate and rolled in dirt would taste delicious (ok not really that sounds disgusting) but whatever the case I am so glad that food has gotten its "flavor" back.

I have realized that stretch marks are hot! They have to be becuase what feels like 80% of my body is covered in them and if they are not then I would feel pretty bad about myself. ha. Truthfully though stretch marks and my c section scar tell about the amazing journey that I took to get this sweet little baby here... so yeah that is pretty "hot" if you want to call it that.

Going to the gym for the first time after pregnancy was a little depressing. Meeting with a trainer and having him tell you that your body like a 33 year olds body when you are only 23 is not exactly the easiest to hear. Also trying to run, jump and do lunges the same way I did before I was pregnant didn't exactly work out well for me... I may or may not have lost my balance a few times and almost fallen over. heh its cool.
BUT its super fun to reach all these new "goals" and I feel pretty impressed with myself when I do reach one. Regardless of the fact that these are goals my 20 year old self could do in her sleep. hahaha. I realized though that working out can really make you feel better about yourself. (As long as you keep going JANELLE!)

Baby spit up, baby pee and baby poop are not as disgusting as you think they will be. When something becomes an everyday occurrence you just become desensitized. When Addie pees on me my last reaction (now) is to freak out and gross out. I'm not going to lie sometimes I don't change my shirt... I just wipe it with a clorex towel and call it good becuase truth be told... its probably about to happen again in about five minutes. (ok I do change my shirt... but I think about not changing it. Especially at 3 am.)

Going along with that... Spit up stains are a pretty sexy accessory this season. Almost every shirt Eric puts on has a big spit up mark on the shoulder. I love it. Just shows me that he is wonderful and always helping me by holding our cute kid. And she loves him too... and her spit up is just one way she shows her love.

A baby talking gibberish to you is super fun. I can do it for hours. And I love to record it and make everyone else watch her do it too even if they don't find it as entertaining as I do.
That being said Company is very nice. I love Addsters but an adult conversation every now and then is really appreciated. My sweet sisters call me all the time and it makes my day. I love just having someone talk to me. I never realized it before but I love it. Phone calls, visits... love it. They mean so much.

Blow drying your hair is such a luxury. I never realized how much I took blow drying my hair for granted before. but on the wonderful days where I can blow dry my hair and wear it down... I feel like a queen. I feel honestly spoiled. Sometimes I worry that when my hair is down Addie won't recognize me.

Reading to your baby is super fun. But the same books over and over again gets a little redundant. So I realized at this little age I am in charge and we can read what I say we read. Addie doesn't mind as long as I am talking to her. So we have been reading lots of random books like the Glass Menagerie and my all about the Titanic book. Her attention span is only for like  7 minutes anyway sooo we don't get through lots but its fun to try.


Baby kisses are magical. Need to feel better? Had a rough day? Give Addie a kiss and your worries will probably just melt away.

Don't get near your old jeans. Don't do it. Those "skinny" jeans you have been saving for a while because someday you will lose enough weight to fit in them... they will depress you. Throw them away my friend (future Janelle rereading this!). Having two pairs of jeans is cool. Especially if one has holes all down the inside of the leg. Truth is no one notices and if they do no one has said anything. I don't have the time nor money for that matter to go get a new pair of jeans and these jeans love me. They don't make me cry. Why would I want to submit myself to sadness when I can stick with my friend mr. comfortable?

Baby smiles... they melt your heart. you can't be mad, sad or even annoyed when that cute little baby looks up at you with that smile. And my luck would have it, Addie LOVES to smile while getting her diaper changed.

Addie has the "puppy face" mastered and it makes her father do anything for her. Addie does this thing where she will pucker her lower lip and start to whine when she wants to be moved, held, changed, or rocked. Its not a real sad face just an adorable little way she lets us know that she isn't happy with the current arrangement and wants a change. For example, we will be somewhere and someone unfamiliar will be holding her. She will be ok for awhile and then puppy sad face comes on. Daddy grabs her and she is fine. Its like nothing was ever wrong. Another example... She is lying next to mommy on the floor. Puppy sad face in Daddys direction... She is now smiling and happy in his lap. That girl has got her dad wrapped around her finger already. She is pretty awesome.

Spit up will probably go in or near your mouth at sometime. Just spit it out as fast as you can and you will survive. Avoiding the "flying baby" game will probably help to decrease your chances of this but if your baby loves to be "flown" around above your face just keep your smile to a closed mouth one and you will be fine.

I realized also... I am old. At 23 I am old. Both my little sisters have told me this in the past two weeks. And guess what?! It is ok. I don't party till dawn. I can't just go do something crazy fun spur of the moment. I have to always be carrying my Mary Popins bag with me. I can only do things my infant can go with me to. I am old and all grown up though I feel just as immature as ever.
But its ok. I like being old. It is totally worth it.
(It is a lot of responsibility being old though. I am trying my best but it is kinda tough dude.)

I have also realized how awesome Eric is. Ok I have said it before.. I married an amazing guy, my best friend and I love him... blah blah blah. But seriously, these past three months have just reaffirmed that I made the best choice possible in a husband. He is amazing. He deals with cranky sleep deprived Janelle, He deals with sad depressed "I am so fat" Janelle, He deals with "I am strange from no sleep" Janelle. He is so kind to me. So sweet. He is always doing anything I ask. I feel so blessed. I feel bad that I am ever short with him. He also is an amazing dad. He is so funny with Addie. She just adores him. Whenever she hears his voice she starts looking around the room for him. She doesn't do that for me... haha. He is always concerned for her health, safety and well being. He is so great... I truly was blessed that he somehow fell in love with me. I am sure glad I was able to convince him to marry me.

Of all the things though I think I have realized that all those cute little cliche things you hear about being a mom... they are all true.
"Being a mom is the greatest job in the world..." True.
"You will understand better the love your parents have for you and be more grateful for everything they have done for you..." True... I could write a whole blog post just about that.
"You will understand better how much our Heavenly Father loves us and how he loves us so unconditionally."True. I see how much I love Addie and I realize that if Heavenly Father loves me as much as I love her then I am so very blessed. I am so grateful for a God who knows me and loves me. It is such a blessing to know that through adversity and trials we have someone who loves us THAT much rooting us on. We really are never alone.

Adelaide is amazing. She is just the sweetest little thing. I am so humbled that I am her mother. I hope I can be worthy of her and teach her all she needs to know. Truth is, so far, she has been teaching me. Patience, love, understanding, how to be happy... the list goes on and on.


These past three months have been amazing. I am excited for the times ahead. I know they won't be easy but I look forward to getting to know Addie more.

Auntie Em and Addie

Addie apparently just loves music and her relatives.  It is super cute to watch her dance around when she hears Emily play!

Granddaddie and Addie

One of Dad's lesser known talents is his singing. Not only does he randomly break into song and sometimes dance, but he is also a critically acclaimed songwriter. With such hits such as "Going 'Round in Circles" and the latest single "Gelato," it was only a matter a time before lightening struck again.  Behold his genius:

[This post is lovingly written by Eric]

The years have gone by but the lessons remain

August 13th has always been one of my favorite days becuase it is the day my Dad, James Leon Evans was born 65 years ago. I love and miss him him everyday but I am so grateful that my daughter has the most amazing guardian angel looking out for her constantly ♥ 

I am sure that Adelaide and my father have a relationship that I don't understand from before she came to me here on this earth. I am so glad we will be a family forever. My dad was the most amazing, hard working and faithful men. My daughter will grow up hearing all the wonderful stories of my father and all the wonderful lessons that he taught me. 

I love my father. I love that God let me have as long as he did. I look forward to seeing him again.
I look forward to having him meet/reunite with all the wonderful people who are taking care of me here while he is gone. 

My dad will always be my hero. 

Pictures: The last few weeks...

My dr  and view of the surgery

all hooked up

Grandma Kaye

Grandma Gail

Uncle Jimmy

Brother and sister with baby

Great great grandma and Addie

Great Grandpa and Addie

Great grandma and Addie

Uncle Spencer

Sara

Addie under the lights

Her mask haha

Getting ready to go home

Ready to go!

Leaving!

Mama and baby time

Meeting Grandpa Scott

The rolls haha

Adelaide's birth story

This is extremely personal and there will be a few graphic pictures and details. I would ask that you please give respect that this was a very special and personal event in my life and treat this post accordingly. This is also pretty long. Feel free to just skim or just look at the pictures :)

     It has been a day over two weeks since the birth of my sweet baby girl and I have been putting off writing this blog post over and over again. I think it could be becuase I am sleep deprived or because I have been so busy but mostly I think its becuase the whole process was such an intense and spiritual experience I have been afraid/unsure how/not able to put it into words. But I figure tonight... I will try my best. I need to write this out for myself for therapeutic purposes.

     As I have mentioned a little on here before I had really bad blood pressure during my pregnancy. As  it got closer to my due date my pressures seemed to get worse. I was taking a medicine to help regulate it but it still was going out of control. I was bloating like crazy, I was dizzy and having a hard time doing anything with out feeling like I was going to pass out. Even sitting an hour at sacrament meeting was difficult for me. At my 36 week check up my doctor was very concerned. He decided to send me to a high risk pregnancy doctor as soon as I hit 37 weeks. So the monday after I hit 37 weeks, Eric and I went to see this doctor. We were told that I needed to get an amniocentesis (big needle stuck into my belly and then into the amniotic sack to take out some of the amniotic fluid) to check to see if babies lungs were developed and see if I could be induced. I went in thinking it was no big deal and that this doctor would probably wonder why the heck I was even there seeing him. The doctor came in, I got an ultrasound and he listened to my symptoms. Then he stood up and said I need to call your doctor. Then he promptly walked out. He came back sometime later and informed me that my blood pressure is too high and unpredictable. He said that I don't have preeclampsia becuase I don't have the protein in my urine, but that my high blood pressure was just as serious. He told me that the baby looked fine on the ultra sound and that he didn't need to do the amniocentesis. He informed me I needed to be induced right away or I could end up having seizures, renal failure, stroke or even end up in a coma. So he sent me home. I didn't even realize that my high blood pressure was that serious. I knew I wasn't feeling good...but he really put into perspective why my doctor had been watching me so closely the past few months.

Me the first night in the hospital

Eric and I in the hospital waiting

My IV

     My doctor called me about a half hour later and told me that I could go in that night to a cervix softener and then get induced the next day but if I did that my doctor would not deliver my baby. Becuase it was July 24th and that is Pioneer day here and Utah and its a holiday. So they said I could wait and come in Tuesday night and my doctor could deliver my baby wednesday. Eric and I felt that God had sent us to this doctor for a reason so we might as well wait a day and go to him. We absolutely love him so it was an easy choice. We spent the next day and a half in anticipation. Making sure everything was set up, bags were pack and diapers were bought time still went by super slow. My brother and mom arrived Tuesday right before we went in. My brother laughed at how fat I was. haha. :) They were so excited and it was so nice and comforting to see them. I hadn't seen them since my wedding.

Eric sleeping on his nice bed 

     We got to the hospital and they took us to this amazingly nice room. They gave me the cervix softener and at first I felt fine. After a while I started feeling the contractions. But they were bearable. I was given something to help me sleep and Eric and I tried our best to sleep.
    Early Wednesday morning they came and started my Pitocin to help induce my labor. At about 10 the doctor came in to check my dilation. I had nothing. He decided to break my water in hopes to rush my labor along. I was feeling pretty intense contractions but I wasn't dying. They just felt tight and pushing. They were also super uncomfortable but I could handle it. The nurse came in and asked if I was planning on getting an epidural. I said yes. she asked if I wanted to get one now. I said no that I was fine as of now but she said I might as well get one early if I am going to do it. So I said ok. I am glad I did. The guy who came in was head of the anestesia department and I didn't feel the needle at all. I still felt pressure and I felt worn out but the major pain was gone. That was super nice. We had a lot of visitors stop by through the day and say hello and wish me luck. It was so nice. it helped time go by.
By 8 o clock I finally was dilated to a 9. The doctor came in and said we would start pushing soon.

Waiting...

At 9 they cam in and had me push a little and then had me wait an hour. At ten they decided that we could finally begin pushing. The baby seemed like she was finally far enough down the canal. So I pushed for an hour and a half. It was the most intense hour and a half of my life. I kept pushing with all my might even though I couldn't feel the majority of my lower half. I was still in pain. I was trying so hard to get her out. I pushed with everything in me. Every contraction... three huge pushes for an hour and a half. the doctor told me at the end of the hour and a half that she still was not moving at all. He said it seemed like she was facing up instead of down.
     It was at this time he gave me three options. He told me we could keep pushing but we could end up doing a c section anyways since she wasn't moving, we could do a vacuum but he didn't recommend that or we could do a c section. Tears welled up in my eyes. I asked him what he recommended and what he would say if it was his wife in this situation and he said to do the c section. I looked around at my husband and at my family. I said a silent prayer. I started crying harder and I looked at my doctor and said ok lets do the c section. I asked if we had enough time for me to have a blessing and he said yes.

Eric in his surgery out fit :)

Me ready for surgery...

     I have never had surgery before this. That is why I was so nervous. Eric and his brother gave me a blessing. I received peace. During the blessing I was told to have faith. If i could do that then I would be saved and so would my baby. This is the first time I even thought anything could be wrong with the baby. The doctor kept saying everything was fine. My first instinct was to get really scared and start stressing out. But I looked around the room at my family sitting there watching me. They all had faith that the Lord would help me. I looked at my phone and remembered all the texts I had received from friends saying I was in their prayers. I felt peace. I knew that God had this in his hands.

My abdomen ready for surgery

     They wheeled me off to the operating room. I kept praying over and over that everything would be ok. I don't know if I stopped praying at all really during the surgery. I waited anxiously for Eric to arrive in the room. when he did he grabbed my hand and smiled at me. I felt so safe despite my surroundings. There was a window to the operating room so that our family could stand and watch the operation. I kept getting more and more pain killers into my epidural. My doctor asked if I could feel something... I said no. All I felt was pressure. And he said good. and I suppose that is when the surgery began.

Addie coming out...

     Eric kept smiling and giving me thumbs up during the surgery, But I noticed there was a definite shift in the mood in the room. I kept feeling more and more pressure and urgency. The doctors were not laughing or talking to each other anymore. Everything seemed off and I was uncomfortable. I kept waiting to hear my baby cry. I kept looking to Eric to tell me when he saw her and I kept praying.

Addie... trying to get her to breathe

Trying to get her to breathe

Finally Eric said he saw her. I got so excited. He said she was beautiful. And then he said she was out, But I did not hear her cry. I kept using all my strength to look over where they were washing her off. I realized that the nurses looked worried. I noticed they were pounding on her chest and putting an oxygen mask on her face. I felt so afraid and then I prayed and waited for it to end. I kept waiting for her to cry. I just sat on the table and closed my eyes. I must have passed out because the next thing I knew I had an oxygen mask on. But I could hear my baby cry. It was just for a moment but it was beautiful. A nurse brought her over to me. I held her and told her I loved her. Then before I knew it she was taken again. This time Eric followed her. I sat on the table for what felt like forever waiting for the doctor to finish sewing me up.

Finally able to hold her for a second

Adelaide doing better

     It wasn't till I was wheeled into my room after I was all stitched up that I finally was told what happened. Addie came out unable to breathe. They miraculously were able to help her. Turns out that she had been stuck in my canal for the entire day. She couldn't get through and every time I pushed it was pushing her head into my pelvic bone. She was stuck and she was blocking some of the amniotic fluid from coming out. She had how bowel movements and had swallowed some of it. She was in complete distress when the dr pulled her out and her head swollen and had bruises all over. The dr told us if we hadn't done the C section she would have died. They informed me that the surgery had been extremely violent. Addie was stuck and the dr had to use what looked like a giant shoe horn (according to Eric) to get her out. The doctor had to put his arm all the way up to his elbow inside me! I am grateful I couldn't feel anything.

First bath

I had a fever so they put Addie and I on anti biotics. I held her for twenty minutes that night, just enough to breast feed her and then she had to go back the level two (NICU-type unit) for the night.

Addie under the Billy Rubin lights

The next morning I awoke at 7 am worried. Where was Adelaide? Why hadn't a nurse been in to see me? I sent Eric out to find out since I still couldn't walk. He came back an hour later with the baby and a nurse who informed me that Addie had been
given a bottle because I was not able to breastfeed at that time and during this she had stopped breathing and turned blue. She once again had almost died but they were able to bring her back.

Addie in her Level 2 care (NICU) Bed

She stayed in the NICU for a while. She was carefully monitored. About the third day they let her out. Then they said she had jaundice and we had to keep her under the billy rubin lights.  All the while I figured out how to walk again and how to move. I realized that the more I walked the dizzier I got. Finally on sunday i realized my blood count was still low. My dr told me I really needed to get a transfusion so I agreed. I hadn't realized but I guess I had lost half my blood during surgery. The transfusion helped a lot.

Family

We have been home for over  a week now. Its been an adventure. Looking at my sweet baby's face reminds me how truly blessed I am to have her here. Eric and I discussed over and over again how the blessing I received gave me and him great comfort. We realize that it was not just not our faith that saved baby's life but it was the accumulation of ours and all of our friends faith and prayers.

Addie Leaving the Hospital

     Words cannot express my gratitude that I feel for the prayers, the calls, the visits, and the meals that I have received from so many people. The support and love has been amazing. It has helped us to get through! We wouldn't have been able to do it on our own but the Lord sent us "Angels round about us to bear us up." And they were physical and spiritual angels. I am still in awe from the love I feel. I hope I can be worthy of it.

Recovery has been good. I probably should be resting a lot more then I am. I want to be 100% and I realize that can't come over night. But its hard to keep "resting" when I have been resting and sick for the past 9 months. I just want to be better and enjoy my baby.
Everything with Adelaide is great. We went to the doctor yesterday and he informed us that she is looking good. She is still figuring out a sleep and eating pattern. She is the sweetest little girl though.

My amazing mother in law helped us out for the first week being home. She helped us out so much, I honestly couldn't have done it without her. She just left thursday actually. So yesterday was my first day alone. It felt great. But I am sore today from over doing it. Luckily I had some friends come help me run errands yesterday. I am grateful that I still have people helping me out. I need it more then I let on. ha.


Everyday I am learning more about Adelaide and about myself. I am excited to get to know her better.
I am so grateful and in awe that Heavenly Father sent this sweet little spirit to us. I am in awe that he saved her life and that he showed us such wonderful tender mercies. I look at my c section scar daily and I realize that my baby's birth is not how imagined it would be or even had hoped it would be. But I see that scar and I reminded of the miracle that God gave to me. The miracle that occurred. My daughter is more then I could have ever hoped for. I have more love for her then I knew was possible.   I am so grateful for all that I have learned from this difficult and trying adventure. I am in awe that my God loves me so much and that he taught us such amazing lessons. I hope to some how be able to return the kindness and love that has been shown to me someday.

I look forward to every tomorrow with our new little family. I am so grateful we have forever together.

Adelaide Carolyn Wahlstrom
Born July 26th 2012 at 12:06 am
8lbs and 9 ounces
3 weeks early
Our beautiful little miracle